Zero-Proof · Zero-proof

Virgin Piña Colada

Coconut cream and pineapple, blended into vacation — no passport or proof required.

How to order it: Fresh pineapple, real coconut cream, crushed ice. Umbrella mandatory.

Flavor profile

Sweetness9
Bitterness0
Strength0
Freshness6
Richness6
Sparkle0
Daring2

The recipe

  • 2 oz coconut cream
  • 3 oz pineapple juice
  • ½ oz lime juice
  • Blend with crushed ice
  • Pineapple wedge; umbrella mandatory
Take the Quiz

The story

Puerto Rico takes the piña colada seriously enough to have declared it the island's official drink in 1978, and seriously enough to sustain a decades-long dispute over its invention — the Caribe Hilton credits its bartender Ramón "Monchito" Marrero with creating it in 1954, while the Barrachina restaurant in Old San Juan maintains a rival claim. Both versions depend on cream of coconut, commercialized in mid-century Puerto Rico as Coco López. The virgin rendition is barely a concession: pineapple and coconut were always the headliners, and the rum mostly supplied plausible deniability. Blended over ice, it remains vacation in liquid form — proof, so to speak, that escapism never actually required any.

Classic variation

The Virgin Piña Colada is a riff on a classic. Meet the original:

Piña Colada

Cocktail

Rum, coconut, pineapple — a vacation with no return flight.

Adjacent pours

Amaretto Sour

Cocktail

Almond, lemon, and silk — the sour that traded whiskey for dessert.

Sex on the Beach

Cocktail

Vodka, peach schnapps, orange, cranberry — the 80s never tasted so unapologetic.

Grasshopper

Cocktail

Crème de menthe, crème de cacao, cream — a mint-chocolate milkshake with a wink.

The Pour of the Month

One email a month: the featured pour, a dark horse worth meeting, and one bottle worth buying. No noise, ever.